Sibling Issues in Therapy by Avidan Milevsky

Author:Avidan Milevsky
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan

Part III

Siblings in Session: Siblings in Therapy with Children, Adolescents, and Adults

7

Siblings in Child and Adolescent Individual Therapy

Part II examined ways in which clinicians work primarily with parents on creating intimacy between siblings. Part III, on the other hand, details situations where clinicians play a more active role in sibling therapy with children, adolescents, and adults. Chapter 7 identifies two primary situations where a therapist might work directly with child or adolescent siblings to help bring peace to rivaling siblings or to activate a source of compensatory support in cases of trauma (Garcia, Shaw, Winslow, & Yaggi, 2000; Gnaulati, 2002; Schibuk, 1989). Chapter 8 examines how sibling work within a family context can help in the assessment and intervention of overall marital and parental hostility.

The final two chapters examine working with adult siblings in session. Adult sibling work may include situations where the focus of treatment is helping clients build a more adaptive sibling bond. Additionally, adult sibling work may be applied using psychodynamic approaches as a means to gain insight into the way past sibling tensions permeate adulthood functioning more broadly.

Sibling relationship conflict

Beyond working with parents on appropriate sibling dispute intervention, reviewed in Chapter 4, in some situations therapists may be called upon to assist in sibling relationship conflict more directly (Lewis, 1988). In such cases, clinicians work directly with children or adolescents on their sibling conflict. This can be done independent of parent work or may be undertaken as a supplement to the parenting interventions examined in Part II. Working with both the children and the parents is especially important if the therapist observes that the parents lack appropriate basic parenting skills.

Working directly with the siblings can offer multiple advantages beyond parenting work. Engaging the siblings directly in session offers an opportunity to explore their relationship outside the parental context which allows for a more honest expression of true feelings. Furthermore, examining their relationship in session can heighten their bond which sometimes is eclipsed in the overall family context. Clinically, observing the sibling conflict in session is also necessary in order to ascertain whether the aggressive exchanges are benign or toxic (Gnaulati, 2002). Bank and Kahn (1982) distinguished between sibling ritualistic harassments, which include nonthreatening altercations with clear engagement rules, and humiliating attacks, which entail uneven aggression, harassment, and manipulation. Therapeutic intervention is necessary when the aggression is humiliating and is the predominant way in which the siblings interact.

Child-focused coaching

As noted in Part II, sibling aggression is an opportunity for conflict-resolution coaching. Hence, the therapeutic goal when working on sibling conflict in session is not the complete cessation of conflict but rather using the sibling conflict as a tool to apply fundamental teachings in emotional and social understanding.

Emotional intelligence

Working with siblings directly in therapy is in essence an enhanced version of the parenting coaching approach examined in Chapter 4. However, in this case, the coaching is directed by the therapist and involves a greater emphasis on the fundamental elements of emotional and social understanding. Child-focused coaching involves enhancing the emotional intelligence and emotional regulation of the siblings.

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